I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
