I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
