Nicole vs. Life
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
