You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
