Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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