Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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