I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
