remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
