If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
