theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Text me some of your sweat
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