pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
