I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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