I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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