I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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