Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Blood and glitter go together right?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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