the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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