I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
