she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
