something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
