She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
