the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
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