i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
