Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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