I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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