So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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