and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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