We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
