that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
