its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
