If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry my hands just texted you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
