one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
