He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
