Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
