I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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