I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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