Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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