ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
