i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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