Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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