I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
