You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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