please come you make the beer taste better
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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