Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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