You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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