It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
