I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
