I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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