Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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