I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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