I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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