I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize