He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
