I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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