Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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