The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
