Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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