connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
