going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize