Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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