she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
