just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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