piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
