if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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