im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
