sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Green mimosas i think yes
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
