i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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